Thursday, February 28, 2008

Booby-Traps in St. George

I went to St. George this past weekend with Courtney and Christian (her fiancé). We met my parents and grandma there. My mom was speaking at an art convention thing, so I went along for the ride; Courtney went to her friend's wedding reception; and my parents FINALLY got to meet Christian! But what I really want to express here is the silliness my parents posses.

I got a phone call from my dad on our drive up there. This is basically how it went...
Dad: You're not on speaker phone, right?
Me: No.
Dad: Good. Does Christian have a sense of humor?
At this point I thought, "Oh dear, what are they going to do to this poor guy?!" All I could imagine was my dad waiting in our hotel room for us to arrive while cleaning his shotgun. Stupid and cliché, I know, but that's really what raced through my mind! What could they be up to?
Me: Yes... why?
Dad: Just making sure. We didn't want to scare him off completely before he meets us!
But it wasn't as bad as I thought. We opened the door to our hotel room in St. George about an hour later and the three of us halted. Did the front desk give us the wrong key? The tv was blaring and three bodies were in the two beds. Then I looked closer.

It had been booby-trapped. I realized this once I saw three strategically placed name-tags hanging on the headboards above the three "bodies" that read "Christian", "Courtney", and "Jessica." My parents and grandma are ridiculous!

They blew up a bunch of balloons and put them under the covers of the bed to make it look like people where sleeping when we opened the door to our room at 2:00am! They also made a crazy scavenger hunt for Christian around the room that led to the mini-fridge where they left 3 bottles of Martinelli's and a bunch of Reese's Buttercups (his favorite). Not only that... but there were so many streamers hanging up around the room that we couldn't even walk to the bed from the door! Oh... and the best part... [my mom thinks she's so funny] they bought plastic bugs and put them all over the hotel room. They purposely left a message on our phone so we'd pick up the receiver and find a big black spider. Very Funny. I didn't want to wake the Big Bad Wolf, so I sent my dad a text message that read, "Ha Ha."

Thankfully Christian does have a sense of humor and appreciated the ugly heart-shaped zebra-print and pink fringed pillow my mom left for him as a "welcome to the family". It was the tackiest thing she could find at the Dollar Store across the street (so she says). Pink is the devil to Christian, so it made it even better. :) Don't worry, my parents weren't exactly playing favorites. For me, I was left this ugly yellow Easter Egg looking toy that you press and a different face appears each time. On the note attached, this is what my loving family wrote...
"Dear Jessica,

It's your lucky day! Pick your favorite Prince [ugly faced Eater Egg thing] and get married before your grandmother dies.


I should have been offended, but I burst out laughing. My parents thought they were so funny. Yeah, very funny.

The only embarrassing encounter between my parents and Christian came about because of me. I didn't mean to make him stutter and blush, but it was just so funny, I couldn't help it. Courtney was in the middle of a story to my parents about how nice and cute Christian was to her... and I injected, "Yeah, tell mom and dad what Christian got you for Valentine's Day!" To which Christian swallowed all the air in the room as Courtney exclaimed, "He got me a Victoria's Secret gift card!" My mom thought it was adorable (as did Courtney and I), but my dad just sat there and rolled his eyes. Poor Christian. He didn't really know what to do. It was classic.

Welcome to the family.

Christian & Courtney

Classic ring shot

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Koo Koo

Across the street from my office lies a small Mecca of food establishments. Today I ventured for a little chicken at Koo Koo Roo to satisfy my lack of breakfast and fast approaching dinner. Just before leaving, I made my way to the restroom. Before I go on, no... I didn't break any toilets... and it's not a sickening story (or sorts) either.

I walked in to find a pretty average two-stall fast-food chain restroom. One door was closed, the other open. I walked into the open stall, turned to close the door and before I could lock it I heard a very direct voice state, "UNAVAILABLE!" I stopped and thought, "Hmm, ok..." I continued to lock the door to the stall that I was in. Again I heard, "UNAVAILABLE! This bathroom is TAKEN!" Ok... so I responded hesitantly, "There are two stalls in here and I have to use the bathroom." To which this obviously upset woman said, "Why would you say that to me? Of course I know there are two stalls in here!" I was utterly confused. So I went about my business as she continued to have a one-way conversation with me that went something like this... "I'm the Koo Koo Roo grandmother. Yesterday and walked in on a woman by accident in this stall and I saw her, but I quickly closed the door. It's not like we all don't have the same parts. The mechanics are all the same. Some are just made in different shapes and sizes. Why would you say there's another stall in here? It's such a nice day out today. I brought my quilted jacket to work today, but I should have left it at home. But I'm glad I brought it because I have a meeting tonight until 9:00pm and you know it gets chilly by 9:00pm in Los Angeles. So I'm glad I brought my quilted jacket."

To all of this, I responded, "Uh huh."

I sat in my stall thinking, "Is she really talking to me? Maybe she's on the phone and I've just responded like an idiot." But no. Who talks to strangers through stall walls? I wanted to get out ASAP, but I didn't want to be accosted by this woman while washing my hands. How was I going to get out of this? She beat me to "the flush". So I waited... and waited... for a good minute-plus for her to finish washing and drying her hands... strike up a new conversation with another girl waiting for the restroom, and finally LEAVE!

I made it out alive. Koo Koo!

Monday, February 11, 2008


This was just sent to me and I had to share with everyone.