From my balcony...

When thinking of balconies, I usually picture myself sitting on a lanai, bathing in the perfect Hawaiian sun, reading a good book, and sipping on cold Cranberry Juice. Ok, maybe I lost most of you with the cranberry juice, but even so... balconies always have a nice feeling associated with them for me. Not anymore.

Many interesting things have been happening on my balcony lately. Last night greatly reiterates this point. Let me begin by saying that we, as an apartment, have been overly-aware of the goings-on around our apartment building since the fires. The temperature last night was close to freezing (a rarity here in LA) and I didn't want our homeless man to show up and start another fire to keep warm. Sad, but true... I like my apartment... I'd like to keep it from being reduced to charcoal.

At midnight, Kami came running up the stairs to see what was going on below. She had heard the familiar sound of bottles and cans being sorted (a favorite past-time of our uninvited neighbor). We both walked out onto the balcony, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary in the burned-out garage... when all of the sudden... CRASH! We look across the street and a Ford Explorer totally smashed into the front of a Mazda RX-8. There were no cars around... no stop signs... nothing... obviously drunk or just NOT paying attention to the PARKED car! The Ford Explorer then proceeds to drive forward, but can't... it REVERSES and gets even more STUCK to the side of that poor little car!!! Now, if this were you... wouldn't you stop and get some help? Get out to see how much damage was done before you do MORE?! No. Not this driver. They DRIVE OFF!!! Kami and I look at each other in my all-too-familiar tone, "Is this REALLY happening?"

I couldn't get the license plate number from where we were, so I grabbed a paper and pen and we literally booked it down to the garage, jumped into the Batmobile and sped off after the felon! Can you believe us?! Someone should be paying us to be the neighborhood watch. Seriously.

We found her, about 2 blocks down, checking out the damage to her SUV. I quickly wrote down the plates as Kami pretended to be looking for a parking spot. We heroically drove back home. Just as we were getting out of the car, the guy who owns the Mazda walked out of the apartment building. He was in shock as we reiterated what we had just witnessed and done! I handed him the paper and we went back upstairs. We're such good Samaritans. Goodness... what a night!

Oh, don't worry, it only gets better.

The reason I was mildly paranoid about another fire being started last night, not just because I really love my bed, but that our Renter's Insurance wouldn't go into effect until the next day. Thus, at 3:20am, after a full day of awful finals and chasing hit-and-run criminals, I finished up my homework and I was heading to bed when I heard the chain link fence being messed with. I peered out the blinds—the same blinds used to discover the two fires and car accident. It wasn't Mr. Homeless Man. No, it was three men this time... dressed in black, their pick-up truck parked next to the abandoned house and burnt garage, sneaking through the chain-link fence that was "conveniently" laying on its side, sprinting into the back of the house, grabbing boxes, tables, chairs, lamps, and more boxes... anything they could carry and chucking it into the back of their truck! (They even had a "look out guy"!)

NO WAY!! NOT ANOTHER "Is this seriously happening to me?" MOMENT!

I was actually watching a burglary in progress. HOLY CRAP! I immediately called the police (who took their sweet time in arriving, btw). The robbers were kind enough to wait around a few minutes for the police to show up as they were forced to jump-start their get-away vehicle! But alas, they got away, free and clean. A minute later, two LAPD helicopters were overhead, spotlights on, searching for the bandits. I was still on the phone with the dispatcher as the the cops arrived. They wanted to chat with me. So I headed downstairs, chatted for a while (he remembered me from our last late-night fire experience a week ago), and went back up to my nice warm apartment. Why do all the hot cops work at night?! Share the wealth! "Come On!" (...in GOB-esque style, for you Arrested Development fans.)

Where do I live?! What is going on with this place? We laughed about it over dinner tonight as we celebrated Jenny's birthday at PF Chang's. It was a fabulous night. I'll post pictures later.

Then it happened. Kami ran upstairs after going to bed, saying she heard the chain-link fence again. Déja vu? I wish. No... I heard it too. We peaked through the blinds, again, and beheld a work-truck, filled to the brim with junk. It had backed into the fence, which knocked it completely over. Pony-tail haired man parked his truck and dashed off down the street, still backed into the fence. WHAT THE HECK?! Can we say suspicious?! After deliberation, Yes. I called the police, again. I gave the dispatcher the history of all the weird things that have been going and told her, as we laughed, that I really don't ever call 911, but in the past two weeks, I've gotten my money's worth. A couple minutes later the guy quickly slipped back into the truck and took off.

I didn't pay much attention to the cops this time. I was busy adding old HS friends on Facebook, and too involved in a debate about being happy vs. being content as singles. But that's another story.

Is it wrong to admit that I'm a little exhausted from all the, "Is this seriously happening to me?" moments in my life lately? I told Gero Student I thought the property next door was cursed. He called me Mrs. Kravitz. He's probably right.

At least we have renter's insurance... charred balconies and all.